Helping Someone Who Has Depression: A Guide for Friends and Family

Mental illness is critical concern of society. Depression is one of the most damaging conditions of mental illness. Depression is the most painful and one of the most lethal mental conditions which pains the mind of millions of human around the great globe. It is real and a lot of loved one’s need to help.

Depression can really inflict someone with great suffering and understanding how you can provide help can at times seem really difficult. Understanding their suffering can at time leave you feeling really helpless, confused, powerless, down, broken and preposterous. In the treatment path, some support can go a long way in making the journey better.

In order to provide support to a person suffering from depression, the first step is to have the right information and understand the disorder. It is critical to understanding the nature of the disorder.

Depression is more of persistent feeling of sadness, lack of interest or at times a clinical drift.

It clinical drift comprises of fixed sense of hopelessness, immense sadness, great sense of meaninglessness or detachment from the world and at times worthlessness. This detachment can last for a shorter time span of weak or can sometimes go on for months or years.

Understanding Depression: More Than Just Sadness

Depression often goes unnoticed. It can be invisible to others, and its symptoms may be different to each individual. Depression is usually a combination of a biological reason and a psychological reason, like genes, brain chemicals, or trauma (brain damage). Everyone experiences trauma, and life stressors can trigger it. And remember, depression should be taken seriously as a medical and psychological condition. It is not a weakness or a medical condition that can be magically resolved.

Common Symptoms of Depression:

• Persistent sadness: Anxiety happiness that stays with you.
• Loss of interest or pleasure: No longer enjoying doings or activities that once brought happiness (anhedonia).
• Changes in appetite or weight: Increase or decrease in eating or weight.
• Sleep disturbances: Disorders like insomnia (not sleeping during the night) or too much sleeping (hypersomnia).
• Lack of energy or fatigue: Tiredness, continual fatigue (feeling of weakness, tiredness) after rest.
• Difficulty concentrating: The inability to remember or focus on various tasks or to start making decisions.
• Feelings of guilt or worthlessness: Exaggerated self-blame or feeling of absence of worth.
• Thoughts of self-harm: Death and self-harm.

To help someone manage depression, compassionate help is very important. Understanding your loved one’s experience better can be achieved by self-education and by gathering relevant information from trustworthy educational sites. Websites, books, and counseling provided by professionals can be very helpful.

Fostering Listening and Talking Opportunities

As long as you listen without judgment, the person suffering from depression has a safe space where they can express their feelings. This is one of the best ways you can help your loved one suffering from depression. Most of them suffer from feelings of loneliness and isolation, as well as an inability to articulate their thoughts. Your listening and talking support can help.

Strategies to Talk and to Help Understand:

• Listen without judgment: Give your full attention and let them say what they need to say without interrupting. Supportive phrases like “I’m here for you” and “I want to understand what you’re going through” help a lot. Avoid telling them “Just cheer up and be happy” or “It’s not that bad, nothing happened.” Those phrases are dismissive and won’t help at all.

• Ask gentle, open questions: Use questions that allow them to speak without being cornered like, “How have you been feeling lately,” “Is there anything in particular that’s bothering you?” Show that you care without putting pressure to share what they are not comfortable with.

• Validate their feelings: Responding with “I can understand how hard this must be for you” or “It sounds like you’re carrying a lot right now”, validates their feelings. Validating feelings does not mean agreeing with their negative thoughts, but rather showing them that you recognize their pain as something that is very much real and legitimate.

• Be patient: When a person is depressed, there is a lot of difficulty in the ability to talk or express themselves openly. They may seem apathetic or isolate themselves, but this is often a symptom of their condition and not a commentary on your relationship.

Just be patient, and let them know you’re available when it’s time to share their feelings.

Offering Real Help

Aside from emotional compassion, real help can alleviate some of your loved one’s workloads. Negative energy or low spirits can take a toll on one’s motivation and make simple tasks incredibly challenging.

Different Types of Help You Can Offer:

• Help with everyday tasks: Help with cooking, laundry, and cleaning, and other daily activities. For instance, you can prepare meals. You can also assist with shopping, or drive them to appointments. Assisting with daily tasks can reduce one’s burden and reserve energy that can be utilized to concentrate on their mental well-being.

• Encourage healthy habits: For people with depression, their sleep, diet, and exercise routines are usually disrupted. Gently motivate them to practice better routines. You can take them on walks, cook healthy meals together, or guide them through relaxation activities such as meditation. Frame your suggestions as shared activities so that your loved one does not think of them as burdens or obligations.

• Respect their boundaries: While encouraging some movements or activities can be helpful, their limitations also need to be taken into consideration. Social activities or large commitments may not be possible for someone with depression. Offer easy, low-pressure options, like watching a movie at home or quiet time together.

• Schedule Help: Offering your assistance through a scheduled text, visit, or phone call will put a smile on their face. It can be hard for someone to reach out for assistance, so providing your help is always beneficial.

Keep your tone warm and supportive, and avoid making them feel guilty if they respond weakly.

Suggesting Professional Help

Although your encouragement and backing are helpful, depression usually needs to be treated by a doctor. Help motivating your loved one to see a psychiatrist, psychologist, therapist, counselor, or doctor. It is often half the healing.

How to Gently Suggest Someone Get Professional Help:

• Normalize help-seeking: Addressing the feelings of trauma or shame to receiving help can be difficult as many people face mental stigma. Frame help-seeking as part of a normal practice. Professional help is as effective as a doctor’s help for a medical condition. You might say, “Mental health has specialists just as medicine has orthopedists. Talking to one can sometimes help you get better.”
• Assist in looking for help: Help looking for a mental health expert can be overwhelming. Offer to help look for a mental health expert in the area, or help make the first inquiry. If in-person therapy blocks progress, offer therapy websites or teletherapy as options.
• Gentle support: Under gentle support, mental health suggestions can be delicate work. Do not force or issue hard deadlines as this can drive a wedge in the relationship. Rather, offer your support gently. “I can see you’ve been struggling, and I feel that seeing a professional would be a great help for you. Would you like me to explore some options for professional support.”
• Resolve issues in crisis: If your supporting person expresses the idea of self-harm, Recognize the cues. Stay collected, and respond to their need. That includes professional support. Listen, and respond to their need for support.

Stay with them or help them contact a trusted professional or emergency services as soon as possible.

Helping Them Heal: How To Be Supportive

When your loved one begins to receive therapy, medication, or another form of treatment, your job as a supporter does not end.

How To Help Guide Them:

• Celebrate small accomplishments: Progress with depression often feels slow or does not seem to happen at all. Recognize and reward small milestones like attending a therapy session or getting through a challenging moment. Saying, “I’m proud of you for taking this step to deal with your problem” can work wonders.
• Understand their treatment: If your loved one is comfortable, inquire about their treatment plan, like certain therapies or medications. Knowing certain side effects or timelines for a particular improvement can help you provide better support.
• Expect setbacks: The road to recovery is not always straightforward, and depression does not improve in a single step. Your loved one might go through what feels like a period of a lot of regression. Help them by saying that this is normal and that no matter what happens, you will be there for them.

Creating a Lasting Support System

When caring for someone with depression, having a comprehensive support system in place can ease the burden and provide a range of support options for the loved one. This condition often takes the form of a chronic, long term issue, which means the depression will require ongoing care and support.

Creating a Support Network

Building a Network of Support:

Make sure to periodically assess the support plan and modify it as necessary to maintain its relevance and effectiveness. It is also important to take care of yourself and get support when needed, as depression in a loved one can strain personal emotional wellbeing.

Even though you won’t be able to cure their depression, being there for them can give them hope. Most importantly, you both need to remember that they are not alone. Together, you both can face depression with compassion.